Tangy Vegan Caesar Dressing (Oil-free!)

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Hey babes,

Do you find that you have strong seasonal cravings? Pumpkin spice in late September, sage in November, burgers in July? I am mostly the same way (your humble narrator definitely adds a shake of pumpkin pie spices to her morning latte in the fall), but a lot of my seasonality revolves around my obsession with sales circulars. In my area, that means winter squashes from October to February, asparagus in the spring, and cherries, watermelon, and peaches in the summer.

It also inevitably means that in the colder months I want soups and chilis for every other meal, and in the peak of summer I relentlessly crave smoothies and salads. Pre-WFPB and pre-healthy lifestyle, there was one salad that I loved above all others: Caesar. Freaking. Salad.

I know, you don’t have to tell me. It’s quite possibly the least healthy salad, second only to cafeteria iceberg-cheese-crouton-ranch options. And typically, I eat massive salads packed with a wide variety of vegetables and topped only with homemade salsa or an avocado-style dressing. But sometimes, a girl wants the familiar comforts of childhood, just not quite so unhealthy or cruel.

In case you are a Caesar dressing novice, here are the problems: least incriminating, like most dressings, it contains a heavy dose of oil. A diet high in added fats, particularly from nutrient-depleted oils (and worse, animal products), is going to contribute to heart disease, high cholesterol, and other preventable chronic illness like Type-2 diabetes.

After the oil, make sure you add in a healthy amount of anchovies, milk, and eggs. Geez Louise, guys, do I really need to say it? These industries and products are detrimental impact on the ocean, the larger environment, the people that work for them, and our health, not even to mention the animals sacrificed for the ’cause.’ Hard pass from me.

But what I noticed when researching dupes for this popular dressing were two trends that never seemed to align: mimicking the mouthfeel of the fats, and mimicking the brine of the fish. No recipe I found managed to address both, and all ignored an ingredient prominent in most Caesars: that salty, aged parmesan cheese.

Luckily, through methods akin to Dr. Frankenstein, I found the answer. Cashews for creaminess, dulse flakes and capers for brine, and a good solid dose of nutritional yeast for the aged, cheesy goodness. And voila! You have a vegan Caesar so pure and good it could’ve avoided the Ides of March.

I’ve mentioned before the beauty of nutritional yeast and cashews, but dulse flakes are a somewhat well-kept vegan secret. Aside from taking a supplement or using iodized salt (both of which are very viable options if you don’t eat a lot of pre-packaged foods), dulse flakes and other seaweeds are the best way for plant-based beauties to get iodine in their diet, which is critical for thyroid function. And as a bonus, seaweeds are also a cheap, healthy way to infuse foods with that taste of the ocean without the cruelty, contaminates, or cholesterol found in sea creatures.

Once you have your simple salad dressing blended up, simply grab a big container of spring mix or your favorite combination of greens, add extra crunchy vegetables to your liking, and if you want it extra traditional, add some croutons and vegan parmesan. I tend to use some variation on this hemp Parmesan recipe or the nut Parmesan listed in Dr. Greger’s first cookbook, but there are a few really yummy store-bought options if you just can’t (Go Veggie makes a very stealthy dupe).

As for croutons, you can opt for store-bought if you want, just look for Organic, as those tend to be made without milk (though check the labels to be sure). Or, if like me you keep a plethora of sliced bread in your freezer, you can make your own by dicing up some of those slices, sprinkling with seasonings, then throw in the oven or air fryer at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 10 or 5 minutes respectively, checking regularly.

And that’s really it. Very little effort, no cruelty, and you still get to eat delicious, indulgent Caesar salad, like a properly evolved basic bish. Throw in some dairy-free pumpkin spice lattes and cruelty-free boots and we are reaching the Pinnacle of perfect, comforting habits.

So tell me, what’s your favorite traditional salad? Or more broadly, the food you left behind in your plant-based journey that you miss? I’d love to take a jab at creating a dupe! Until next time, XOXO!